The Seven Rings of Marriage

Rings As Seasons in Marriage

Next in the 2018 Messenger series on family and relationships, I hope to convince you to read a new book on marriage. A professor at Bible College used to tell us poor students that a good book was worth selling the shirt off your back to have in your library! This is one of those shirt-sellers! The name of the book is The Seven Rings of Marriage written by Jackie Bledsoe. The title is creative and memorable. Here’s how the chapters unfold:

Introduction
Chapter One: When Your Dream Becomes a Nightmare
Chapter Two: Begin with the End
Chapter Three: The 7 Rings of Marriage—An Overview
Chapter Four: Ring #1—Engagement RING
Chapter Five: Ring #2—Wedding RING
Chapter Six: Ring #3—DiscoveRING
Chapter Seven: Ring #4—PerseveRING
Chapter Eight: Ring #5—RestoRING
Chapter Nine: Ring #6—ProspeRING
Chapter Ten: Ring #7—MentoRING
Chapter Eleven: What Ring Are Your Wearing?
Chapter Twelve: End with the Beginning
Conclusion

Workable Hopefulness

I’ve read many books on marriage. This book is refreshing. It addresses real marriage problems, seasons, work, and celebrations from a biblical perspective. It’s theology is simple and solid. There’s tons of direct, measurable application points for each RING. I also appreciated the tone of the author when it comes to the messy and dirty moments of marriage. Bledsoe avoids what I’ll call “whiny hopefulness”—hope that’s laced with a grinding and annoying whine. Almost like, “There’s hope, but woe is me.” I totally get it, even been guilty of this myself—we live in the tension of both suffering and hope. Romans chapter eight affirms this already-not-yet reality in which we live. However, the solution in the messes of life and marriage is not to whine in the tension, but rather to persevere in faith, obedience, and to make good changes to restore God’s purposes for our lives. The author nails what I’ll call a workable hopefulness. He offers solutions to a husband and wife willing to put the gospel to work in their marriage.

Marriage Earthquakes

Let me give you a few examples from Chapter Seven: Ring #4—PerseveRING. He creates great word pictures to describe special trials in marriage. He describes these moments as Earthquakes and Storms. He describes an “Earthquake” in marriage as the release of built-up stress that has accumulated over time and causes severe disruption and upheaval. He gives a list of potential fault lines in marriage and then offers tips on how to survive a Marriage Earthquake by applying principles from the Los Angeles Fire Department (LAFD) protocol dealing with earthquake safety:

First, DROP down to your knees before the earthquake knocks you down, meaning pray together about the fault line.

Second, COVER your head and your entire body if possible, meaning guard your mind and body.

Third, HOLD ON until the shaking stops—a marriage earthquake is a time to hold on tighter to your vows and your spouse. Here’s a quote: “The shaking will stop eventually. So don’t let go prematurely. When the shaking is over, you can pick up the pieces knowing you have survived something that destroys many other marriages” (189).

Marriage Storms

Regarding Marriage Storms, he parallels these with our constant concern and preparation for weather in day-to-day life. You can spot a storm coming from far away if you’re watching. Bledsoe observes five different hints that a marriage storm is approaching: (1) You have not spoken your spouse’s love language; (2) you have not been truthful; (3) communication is lacking; (4) you’re not praying together; (5) you have an island marriage (i.e., isolated from or not allowing other married couples to be involved in your life). Then, the author advises how to prepare for these storms: (1) Have your storm gear ready (e.g., Bible verses, babysitters for dates, agreement that no storm will end in divorce); (2) know that storms are not always going to be there; (3) have a storm crew; (4) create your weather patterns as best you can (i.e., if you know certain actions or inactions may generate a storm, what can you change or improve?).

Promises for Marriage

Lastly, in addition to talking about the hard work that is necessary when wearing the PerseveRING, Bledsoe reminds readers of seven Biblical promises for going through tough times:

You are unbeatable because God is always with you (Josh. 1:5)!
Things are working together, and good results will come from them (Rom. 8:28).
Despite the way life may look, you are a winner (Rom. 8:37)!
God wants to help you, and He will if you ask Him (Ps. 55:22; 1 Pet. 5:7).
Even in tough times, good things are happening (Ps. 112:4).
God’s grace is enough, and His power is strongest when we are weakest (2 Cor. 12:9).
The challenges you face now pale in comparison to the blessings you’ll receive (Rom. 8:18).

Final Thoughts

Chapters Six and Seven are my favorite in the book, probably because they apply to the things that are most important to this season in my marriage: I need to continue DiscoveRING who Aimee is and continue to learn how to love her well, even in this busy season of family and work. In Chapter Six, the author gives terrific lists for 25 Date Night Conversation Starters and 25 Fun Date Night Ideas. While these are my favorite chapters, Bledsoe has really put together a complete book on each season of married life.

There are other recent great works on Christian marriage—Tim and Kathy Keller’s book The Meaning of Marriage and John Piper’s book called This Momentary Marriage—both of which dig into the theology behind Christian marriage. If you are looking for an amazing story, read my friend Rick Rood’s book entitled, Our Story . . . His Story. In this book, Rick tells the story of his experience of God’s grace and strength while he and his wife Polly battled an awful illness. I’ve personally appreciated The Seven Rings of Marriage by Jackie Bledsoe because of his ability to say exactly what I need to hear with just the right dosage of pain and positivity. Hey, a shot hurts, but when you need it, you need it. It’s been a refreshing read. Again, I strongly recommend this book for all those aspiring for a good and godly marriage.

The Epistle of James: Godly Living in an Ungodly World

Epistle of James

Epistle of James: Godly Living in an Ungodly World

On Sunday, we concluded our 5-month study of the Epistle of James. What a challenging message! We explored various themes for Godly Living in an Ungodly World. Here, I am providing the title to each sermon, and the basic outline that accompanied each sermon. I hope you are able to use this in your personal Bible study in James and perhaps as you have opportunities to lead others in the study of this book of the Bible.

Epistle of James: Sermon Series Titles and Outline

Introduction: Explore Godly Living in an Ungodly World (1:1) 
  • The Author: James, the brother of Jesus Christ
  • The Date & Place of Writing: Mid-forties A.D. from Palestine
  • The Setting in Life: The difficulties, persecution, economic oppression, and community disharmony of Palestinian and scattered Jewish Christians in the 1st century Roman world.
  • The Form & Content of the Letter: The letter appears to be an edition of James’ own sermons covering such themes as suffering, wisdom, regeneration, a primitive Christology and eschatology echoing the teachings and sayings of Jesus himself, poverty & wealth, the tongue, and the relationship of law, grace, faith, and works of charity. James’ use of “my brothers” or “brothers” is a notable feature and guide throughout the letter.
The Godly Person Endures Tests Joyfully for Maturity (1:2–4).
  • Don’t Divert, but Direct Your Thinking During Tests (1:2–3).
  • Don’t Divert, But Develop Your Endurance During Tests (1:4).
The Godly Person Stays on Track to Maturity by Praying for Wisdom in Testing (1:5–8).
  • Two Problems May Derail Maturing Faith in Testing (1:5a, 6b–8).
  • Two Solutions Will Keep You on Track to Maturing Faith in Testing (1:5b–6a).
The Godly Person Calculates Life by Eternal, Not Temporal, Wealth (1:9–11).
  • The Poor Christian Must Look for Godly Glory Because of Eternal Renewal (1:9, 11).
  • The Rich Person Must Look for Godly Dependance Because of the Eternal Reversal (1:10–11).
The Godly Person Perseveres to Eternal Life through Testing by the New Birth (1:12–18).
  • Persevere to Eternal Life (1:12).
  • Persevere Through Internal Temptation (1:13–15).
  • Persevere by the Internal Transformation of the New Birth (1:16–18).
The Godly Person Heeds Wisdom’s Warning about Anger by Hospitably Hosting the Gospel (1:19–21).
  • Heed Wisdom’s Warning about Anger (1:19).
  • Hunger for God’s Justice Instead of Anger (1:20).
  • Hospitably Host the Regenerating Word for Transformation (1:21).
The Godly Person Perseveres Beyond Hearing to Doing the Word (1:22–25).
  • Beware Deception about the Regenerating Word (1:22).
  • Blessing Belongs to Those Who Persevere Beyond Hearing to Doing (1:23–25).
The Godly Person Awakes to Regenerate Religion (1:26–27).
  • Wake Up from Dead Religion (1:26).
  • Wake Up to Living Religion (1:27).
The Godly Person Pulverizes Partiality Out of His/Her Faith – Part 1 (2:1–7).
  • Heal Community Poverty (2:1–7).
    • Let Jesus Level You (2:1).
    • Obey Your Calling As a Good Judge (2:2–4).
    • Share God’s Burden for the Poor (2:5).
    • Evaluate Whose Side You’re On (2:6–7).
The Godly Person Pulverizes Partiality Out of His/Her Faith – Part 2 (2:8–13).
  • Heal Spiritual Poverty (2:8–13).
    • Live Under the Royal Law of Liberty (2:8–12).
    • Love Mercy More Than Strict Justice (2:13).
The Godly Person Has a Regenerate Faith That Extends Life (2:14–17).
  • Into Eternity (2:14).
  • To Others (2:15–16).
  • By Works (2:17).
The Godly Person Proves His/Her Faith Profession by Corresponding Works (2:18–26).
  • Close the Gap between Faith and Works (2:18).
  • Complete Your Faith (2:19–25).
  • Capture the Correlation (2:26).
The Godly Person Steers the Tongue to Arrive at Maturity by Limiting and Harnessing It (3:1–5a).
  • Limit Tongues That Teach (3:1–2).
  • Harness the Tongue’s Teaching Influence (3:3–5a).
The Godly Person Sparks a Revival of Words (3:5b–12).
  • Trade Hell’s Spark for Heaven’s Spark (3:5b–6).
  • Trade Hell’s Tongue for Heaven’s Tongue (3:7–12).
  • Trade Hell’s Heart for Heaven’s Heart (cf. 1:18, 21; Mt. 15:7–20).
The Godly Person Harvests Harmony with Heaven’s Wisdom (3:13–18).
  • Evidence Your Leadership (3:13).
  • Evict the Party Spirit (3:14–16).
  • Exchange for Heaven’s Wisdom (3:17).
The Godly Person Weeps over His Words Today for a Better Harvest Tomorrow (4:1–10).
  • Weep over Your Desires for War in the Congregation (4:1–3).
  • Weep Like an Adulterer Discovered by a Jealous Spouse (4:4–5).
  • Weep to Find Grace for a Better Harvest (4:6–10).
The Godly Person Places His Words Under God’s Authority (4:11–17).
  • Place Your Social Words Under God’s Authority (4:11–12).
  • Place Your Vocational Words Under God’s Authority (4:13–17).
The Godly Person B.A.N.K.S. on God’s Justice for the Oppressed (5:1–6).
  • Beware the Miseries of Wealth Gained by Exploitation (5:1–3).
  • Attend to the Cries of the Oppressed (5:4).
  • Neglect Luxury, Not Justice (5:5).
  • Keep the Lord Jesus in View (5:6).
The Godly Person Energizes Endurance in the Church by Elevating Faith in Christ’s Return (5:7–12).
  • Christ’s Return Energizes Perseverance of the Saints (5:7–8).
  • Christ’s Return Energizes Community Harmony (5:9).
  • Christ’s Return Energizes Ancient Hope (5:10–11).
  • Christ’s Return Energizes Daily Truthfulness (5:12)
The Godly Person Cares for the Condition of the Congregation (5:13–20 & Conclusion).
  • Cry Out with the Sufferer (5:13a).
  • Cheer with the Cheerful (5:13b).
  • Confess with the Sick (5:13c–16b).
  • Consider the Powerful Prophet (5:16c–18).
  • Call the Wanderer Home (5:19–20).