Review of Children of Divorce by Dr. Andrew Root

Returning to Family Matters

In July’s edition of the WLC Messenger, I am returning to family matters after a couple of months on other topics. If you know me well, then you know that divorce, remarriage, and the effect such decisions have upon children is a topic that is close to my heart. I myself am a child from a home that has been touched by divorce. I have close family members, friends, and parishioners whose lives have been touched by divorce. I have studied the teachings of Scripture on the topic of divorce and remarriage.

Children of Divorce

Lately, I have been reading Children of Divorce: The Loss of Family As the Loss of Being by Andrew Root. It is a heavy book (not in weight, but in content), and having been published by Baker Academic, it is indeed an academic book. It is 171 pages in length, and its author, Andrew Root, holds a PhD from Princeton Theological Seminary and is the assistant professor of youth and family ministry at Luther Seminary in St. Paul, MN. Professor Root is renown for his interaction with German theologians Karl Barth and Dietrich Bonhoeffer as he converses and writes on the area of youth ministry. In an era where so many are attempting to merely entertain youth with the latest trends, Root has breathed theological depth into relational youth ministry. In addition to his training and expertise, he also brings his own experience of his parents’ divorce to bear on this 2010 publication—Children of Divorce.

Introduction

In the Introduction, Root shares about his own experience as a child of divorce. He also briefly describes the increasing cultural acceptance of divorce that grew out of the 1970’s and “no fault” divorce. The book provides a much needed perspective in all of the divorcing going on—the perspective of the child. He states his thesis, “My overall thesis is that divorce is an ontological issue, one that impacts our very being-in-the-world” (xviii). Ontology is the study of being or existence. Therefore, Root is suggesting that when a divorce happens, the union which gave a child his/her very existence is removed and results in an ontological crisis.

A History of Family, a History of the Self

Chapter one develops the history of the western family along with shifting objectives behind why people have married. He sums up this development when he writes,

The history of the family has followed a broad progression the last six hundred years: its objective has shifted from property and power mergers, to labor, and then to love. These changes follow the evolution of cultural currents impacted by the Enlightenment, currents that changed us from premodern to modern to late-modern people. Divorce, then, is the tragic underbelly of the liberation of marriage and family from being centered on land or labor to being centered on love. But now, standing in late modernity, we find ourselves with a problem, a problem much like the effects of modernity on scientific discovery or technological advance. It is the problem of risk. Scientifically and technologically, this means we can split the atom, but in doing so can destroy the world. We can construct effective power plants, but they pollute the planet. Similarly, marriage and family are free from the bondage of a harsh earlier world, but free for what? Making family about love heightened the significance of the person (the self), but it left us with a dangerous risk. When marriage is about love between persons, and nothing more, what remains when love is doubted or destroyed? . . . then who are [the children] once the love that created them and their primary community is gone? (4–5).

As love became more individualized, subjective, and about self-fulfillment, “the step out of marriage into divorce was then increasingly inevitable” (22). While objectives for marriage such as mergers or labor cemented the child’s existence in the family’s tradition or function, these things were much more difficult to discard or destroy. Families formed out of mergers or labor needed the father-mother-child community to survive and succeed, and it took monumental shifts or changes to take away the security the family provided for the child.

But for the children of the late-twentieth-century love union, all it took to destroy a marriage was a change in Mom and Dad’s individual, subjective feelings. Here, then, is the conflict that we have yet to solve: what do you do when the self-fulfillment of mother and father requires the dissolving of a marriage, but the security and self-fulfillment of the child depends upon its continuation? (23)

Marriage, Divorce, and Ontology

This opening chapter sets the stage for chapters two and three where Root interacts with Giddens’s Social Theory and Heidegger’s Dasein (German—being there). Root concludes, “My being, as we have seen with the examples above, is contingent on the being of others.” In other words, “In confronting the question of my identity, I am also confronting the question of the identity of others . . . To be is to be with” (64). That is to say, a child is only with the parents. Gidden and Heidegger lead Root to assert,

that divorce in this detraditionalized late modernity may have a deep ontological impact that is often overlooked . . . divorce confronts the core of the young person’s humanity, for it affects his or her being and acting in the social world (64).

Barth’s Anthropology and Imago Dei

Subsequently, Root moves to the theological in chapters four and five. Here, he engages the anthropology and imago Dei (image of God) doctrines of the German theologian, Karl Barth. These chapters touched my soul and gave expression and words to feelings and thoughts that I have harbored for twenty years. Root discusses Barth’s analogia relationis, “an analogy of relationship between the being of humanity and the being of God.” That is to say, “To be is to be in relationship.” Barth demonstrates this first in the Trinity’s relating as Father, Son, and Spirit and then moves to anthropology and deeper still into the imago Dei—being in relationship is fundamental to being human, even to being real. Root writes,

This means that relationship constitutes reality; it is relationship that leads to being (not the other way around). We find our being in being-with-others (71–75).

Considering the child of divorce, I hope that you can begin to see and feel Root’s argument as he employs Barth’s theology. The relationship—the union—of father and mother gives the child his/her being, his or her reality. To be in this relationship is to be real. When divorce divides the union which gave the child existence, he slips into the unreal. While a child of course forms other communities in which he lives and moves as he gets older, divorce means that he “has lost the one that has been from the beginning the one that made him real . . . When this is taken away, the young person is lost.” At this point, Root shares an interview with a young lady named Nicole who describes her parents separation and divorce,

That afternoon, after he left, she [her mother] sat us down on the couch and said he wasn’t coming back. I can’t even remember my reaction. I know I couldn’t understand what was happening. But I know exactly how I felt. Lost. Now everything I see I have to know the cause, so I can explain the effect. Since I can’t really understand why the divorce came about, I constantly struggle to make sense of my family (75).

Having engaged with “the being” of Barth’s anthropology, Root also engages “the acting” of Barth’s anthropology as it relates to the child of divorce. Beyond the ontological crisis for the child, there is a crisis of acting. The child of divorce now lives in two worlds but is in his very being a reminder of the old world, the old reality. His resemblance, the shape of his eyes, his mannerisms, expressions “are no longer undeniable witnesses to their being as being-with these people [i.e., the parents]. They become instead signs or reminders of division” (65). In these two worlds, the child struggles to find coherence regarding his acting or his agency. “He must act one way in one world and another in the other world” (65). Root acknowledges that living in multiple “worlds” (e.g., work, school, social gatherings, etc) is part of our modern society and that children must learn to act and compartmentalize appropriately in these varied settings; however, he writes,

But to have to act differently, even contradictorily, in relation to those who correlate and are responsible for your being is quite different. When there are two family worlds, the child is asked to do the impossible. To find his being in two opposed worlds, he is asked to be two people (65).

I summarized this in the margin of the book by saying that ontological duplicity leads to relational duplicity.

Also within chapters three and four, Root offers exceptional research that distinguishes the difference between the impact of the death of a parent upon a child and the impact of divorce upon a child. One difference is that the death of a parent points a child forward to a future event regarding his being while a divorce causes a child to look back to a past event regarding his being.

Death looks to a future reality, an event that will happen as time unfolds for the young person. Divorce does not so much point forward as throw the foundational event of the child’s very origins into regret and question. Death promises the eventual end of his being; divorce questions if he ever should have been at all (77).

Root calls this a “haunting reality” for the child of divorce. Second, the death of a parent and the divorce of parents differ in the area of agency. Root writes,

Death (unless it is suicide, which opens up a whole other truckload of issues) rarely if ever occurs through the agency of the dying person. Disease, accident, and tragedy happen to the parent over and against their choice (action). But divorce is an action, not a fate; it may feel unavoidable, but from the child’s perspective it will always come finally by the choice of one or both parent to end the union (77).

Barth’s view of the image of God introduces a substantial shift in theology and gives further explanation as to why divorce causes a crisis for the child at the ontological level. Many have articulated the image of God as pertaining to humanity being endowed with an essence similar to God’s, possessing a diluted form of God’s substance. Categories such as intellect, volition, and emotion are described. Having these capacities, we are able to serve God, have dominion, pursue freedom, liberty, and happiness. Barth looked beyond these capacities to something else that makes us truly human—our relationships.

Barth proposes a major paradigm shift in theological anthropology: one from seeing the human being as an individual defined by innate faculties to seeing the person as a dynamic-interpersonal agent whose faculties arise only as they exist in relations to others (91).

The point is this: what good is intellect, volition, and emotion without relationships in which to employ them? Root writes,

To reflect the image of God is to be in community, it is to be with and for others, just as the Father is with and for the Son through the Spirit . . . Reality itself is constituted not in substances and essences, but in relationships. We are real and freed from the unreal, not because we can think, reason, or feel, but because we are held in the community of others composed by the relational community of God (92–93).

He connects Barth’s relational imago Dei shift to the topic of divorce in this way,

When the image of God is seen as a relational reality, freedom is not understood as the freedom to do whatever is needed to make oneself happy and free. Rather, freedom is understood as the freedom to be for others. In the logic of a relational imago Dei we find our freedom, not away from others, but in giving ourselves to others (93).

Going further, he connects the relational imago Dei to the children of divorce by correcting assumptions,

We assume that divorce impacts [children] at the level of intellect, will, and emotions. Therefore, our actions for them seek to help them think correctly about the divorce (“It is not your fault”), reason realistically (“Mom and Dad are not getting back together”), and feel properly (“It is OK to be mad and sad, but soon you’ll feel better and be better because Mom and Dad will be happier”). Most of the initiatives to help kids deal with divorce seem stuck in this substantialistic perspective”(93–94).

This approach often results in the theory of “The Good Divorce,” which is founded upon two myths: (1) “Happy Parents Make Happy Children,” and (2) “Divorce Is a Temporary Crisis.” Both of these are untrue, and neglect the ontological crisis of the child. Thinking better or providing more information won’t help. Parental happiness will not enduringly influence the happiness of the child who has experienced a deep cut against his imago Dei. Even will power—of the parent or the child—will not be able to limit or restrain the far-reaching ontological effects of divorce.

Barth’s relational imago Dei reminds us that a child needs the parental union in which she can experience objective relational encounters in three areas: (1) male and female, (2) environment, and (3) mirroring. First, male and female are realities of the imago Dei. The mother and father provide a communion in which the child can securely figure out his connection to and difference from them. Second, the child encounters “Mom and Dad in the distinction and unity of the environment” (108). It is in the environment of male and female that the child belongs and is the image of God. Further, this environment also produces rituals that became larger than any one individual and anchor the individuals in common, shared experiences. Third, whether “for good or for ill, the family environment serves as a mirror, which through its action reflects our being back to us” (110). The problem divorce causes for mirroring is that not only has the mirror been shattered, but also multiple mirrors replace the one mirror, and the result is oftentimes contradictory images that leave the child ontologically insecure. Root draws this section to a close by quoting another writer, “To be human is to be concretely ‘this person’ belonging to ‘these people’” (112).

Ontological Security in Christ and His Church

As Root transitions to the final chapter, he explains that for most children the announcement of divorce does not come as good news. It is also not an end for them, rather it is a beginning—“the beginning of her search for a place to be as she acts between their two worlds. She must find a way to be ‘this person’ now that ‘these people’ regret their union that created her” (116, italics mine). The child will search for communities of belonging, and it is Root’s hope that the church can be the kind of place where a child of divorce can find belonging and ontological security in the perfect and powerful love of Christ. In this chapter, Root develops four practical actions that church’s can take to help children of divorce, and he addresses them to three different kinds of people: (1) the youth worker/children’s minister, (2) the parent, and (3) a friend or mentor (e.g., a grandparent). The four practical actions are (1) Mirroring in the Church as Seeing and Being Seen, (2) Autonomy and Belonging in the Church as Speaking and Listening, (3) Routine in the Church as Mutual Assistance, and (4) Bracketing out Anxiety in the Church by Acting in Gladness.

Conclusion

Finally, I should say that Root is sensitive to those tragic situations in which divorce may indeed be the severe mercy needed for the family. So, he doesn’t view divorce as impossible. The strength of the book is Root’s ability to discern and integrate multiple disciplines (i.e., sociology, psychology, philosophy, and theology) in a powerfully harmonic voice regarding the ontological challenges and solutions for the child of divorce. While I realize it was not necessarily the aim of his academic publication, I would have benefitted from a longer book; perhaps, he could have included another chapter that addresses the biblical imperatives to honor and care for parents in light ontological realities and challenges following a divorce. Although I must share that when I attempted to correspond with Dr. Root regarding these additional topics, he was quick, personal, and very kind in his response to me via email—a true scholar and a gentleman! All in all, I am so thankful for this book that gives voice to the children who live through the tragedy of divorce.

REACHing to Serve in Tennessee

By now, I am sure that you’ve heard that our REACH team made it to Crossville, TN, and work is underway on the homes of their neighbors. The journey there wasn’t without a little action, as the trailer blew a tire, but those guys had it up and running again in no time.

By this time, they have put in a good two days’ work on their respective projects. From the pictures, it looks like there’s plenty of painting and some roofing work being done among many other jobs.

After work, the team had some free time yesterday and made it to the Ozone Falls in the Cumberland Mountain State Park.

Kelly Friestad writes,

The team is making connections with their crews and other groups and are working hard. Please pray for us to finish our work and to stay safe on the jobs and on our way home. Many of the homeowners are so thankful and have been around most of the time we’ve been at their homes. We’ve had opportunities to talk with them about the Lord. Today, we went to a 100+ foot waterfall that was awesome! Going to the lake tomorrow for our free time.

So, keep praying for our REACH team as they share the good news of Jesus in word and deed with these homeowners in Crossville, TN. Praise God for all that he is doing in and through our church family this summer.

In Christ,

Pastor Rex

Jesus Is . . .

There are so many ways a person could finish the title of this post. This week at Casa Berea while working with Juventud Para Cristo (Youth for Christ – Spain), we learned that  Jesus is our teacher; he is love; he is our shepherd; our life; and our friend. As we “searched the globe” for Jesus, we met people each day who had encountered Christ in each of these ways. As the children opened up their lives to us and to the Holy Spirit, they encountered Christ and many lives were changed.

Our daily schedule began at 8am with a leaders’ meeting, which involved a time of Bible study and prayer—Nate, Seth, and I led three of the week’s devotions. We focused on a theme—Faithful Faith Foresees Fruit . . . (1) for the Father’s Fame (Life of Abram,), (2) from the Finished (Life of David), and (3) in the Face of Foes (Life of Nehemiah). The Father is faithful to the glory of his reputation, and when we trust him and participate in his plan to bless, he will be faithful to the glory of his name. He will provide all that we need. We experienced so many provisions on this trip: the funding that provided travel, supplies, decorations, and physical resources; the addition of Cole Manschot to the trip who was an excellent American, Spanish-speaker from Wheaton, plenty of beds, plenty of working cars for transportation, the perfect combination of gifted leaders from West Lisbon and on the Spanish team, words to pray over sick, scared, and sorrow-filled kids, fellowship, the Holy Spirit to go beyond our limitations, rest and recovery from sickness when we needed it.

But there’s even more, we could see how God worked in our past — from the things that he has faithfully finished — in order to supply us with what we needed for this past week at camp. I have been amazed for years at how God has used four years of High School Spanish in my life. How could I have known that God used my teacher at Wheelersburg High School to create a love for language, teach me how to learn a language, give me liberty and courage to “Try it,” and a foundation that has served me pastoral ministry and multiple mission projects. God is in the details of our past, planting seeds, creating experiences, that I believe he will use at a later time. Just like David’s experience as a shepherd boy. God used his experience with the sheep, to prepare him as a soldier and as a king.

Whenever a person or team of people set out to participate in God’s mission, there is always opposition. Nehemiah knew this well. Multiple times throughout the book that bears his name, he faced radical rivalry and opposition to his building project. Nehemiah demonstrated a faith that faithfully saw beyond the opposition to the fruit that would eventually come when the building was finished. God helped me to keep my mind and vision on the people of Spain this week, and what he could possibly do in the future in Spain because of one week spent with 5–11 year olds in the name of Jesus. We faced clear spiritual opposition at times, but God helped us to see the potential fruit, and our minds were fixed on the power of the gospel. On the final day at breakfast, the camp director asked for a showing of hands from the kids who had made any kind of spiritual decision with regard to following Jesus during the week. I personally knew of several, but when we watched so many little hands ascend into the air, it was one of the most memorable moments of my life. God is so amazingly faithful.

After our leaders’ meeting, we had breakfast; then, we cleaned our rooms. After that, we had praise and worship, which included a theater piece that developed throughout each morning and night as we searched to know Jesus. Nate and the team also provided music that drew the children into desiring God. Next, the schedule would vary day-by-day. We may go to crafts, workshops, games, or pool time. At around 2pm each day, we ate lunch, which was our largest meal of the day, and it was the meal prior to which we decorated. AND WE WENT ALL OUT WITH THE DECORATIONS! It was awesome, and the kids loved it. After lunch, we had devotions and siesta in our rooms until 4pm, which was followed typically by pool time. After pool time, we either had crafts, games, or special team competitions. Some free time was mixed in before dinner, during which we talked with kids, played basketball or soccer, or perhaps started some kind of spontaneous game on the patio. Dinner and showers preceded our final evening event. On the last night of the week, the children dressed in formal clothing and participated in a talent show — very talented and brave kiddos! It seems that most night we made it to bed around 12:30am.

There are three things that I am taking with me back to the States. First, it was confirmed by the Lord again, that no matter what the differences are that are sprinkled throughout his people across the globe, Jesus’ gospel and the presence of the Holy Spirit in us are the things that we share in common. I’ve met Christians all over the world, and you know when you meet someone who has the Spirit and knows the gospel. I am returning home refreshed by experiencing yet again this powerful unity of the fellowship of the Spirit of God. Second, I am coming back with some amazing new relationships—with the Spanish JPC team, with Cole Manschot, who’s just a hop-skip-and-a-jump away in Wheaton, and with the boys from my group.

Lastly, I am returning with a new and bigger vision for partnering with our West Lisbon missionaries. I can’t put into words how impressed I am with Mark and Stephanie Dodrill. The impact of the ministry that the Lord has built through them is immeasurable. For me, this was most obvious in the quality of the 20-something leaders on the Spanish team. The camp, the youth center, the obvious connections, the trust that parents put in Mark and Stephanie – God has truly blessed their work. The Spirit of Christ is so evident in them and in their vision for the youth of Barcelona.

I am so excited at all of the potential, future ways that we can continue to partner with Mark and Stephanie and Juventud Para Cristo. Mark and I talked multiple times about future opportunities in which we (West Lisbon) can continue to deepen our partnership and continue to watch God do amazing things among the youth of Spain. I’m literally bursting with vision! My hope and prayer is that God will lead us into specifics, and continue to allow us to be a part of what he is doing in Barcelona. I can also sense this kind of vision and excitement from our whole team. We all miss our families and are excited for our return; at the same time, we are all coming back sensing that there is more work to do with our friends in Spain.

We can’t wait to tell you more. We’re currently in the air over the Atlantic now, with about 1,500 miles left to fly. Thank you for your prayers, for your amazing generosity, and again for supporting this summer projects over the last three years. God is doing something special among us.

In Christ,

Pastor Rex

Loving, Learning, & Leaving

After this trip, I should never again complain about being “too tired.” I know God works miracles, because I was somehow at all of the counselor meetings every day at 8 a.m. Let me just say that jet lag is something I’m glad I don’t have to experience every day of my life. This trip was my first time traveling out of the country and while I am very ready to be home with my family, there is also a part of me that wishes I could stay in Barcelona with the kids from the JPC camp.

These kids came from all different socioeconomic groups and backgrounds and family situations. God allowed me this week to get a glimpse of the stories of all the kids at the camp. To my surprise, many of us formed friendships with the kids despite the language barrier. The kids at the camp were intrigued by us Americans and often found our lack of ability to speak Spanish confusing, yet funny.

One of the things our team quickly discovered was that music, singing, laughing, and playing games together allowed us to form relationships with the kids at the camp. The first day of camp we taught some of the kids a game called Ninja, and later during the week I saw multiple groups of kids playing Ninja with each other. Another time we really connected with the kids was through our morning worship time. Every day Nate led everyone in a fun song called “Every Move I Make.” There were motions to go along with the lyrics and doing these motions with the kids gave everyone a good laugh. It was so amazing to hear the kids singing the worship songs on the way to the pool later in the day or while they worked on their crafts in the afternoon.

God showed me the importance of love and the willingness to serve this past week. The tiredness I spoke of experiencing earlier never went away. Even as I write this, I feel the lack of sleep weighing on me. But through the exhaustion, I am content knowing I was part of something incredible for the past week. Our American team and the Spanish counselors were able to witness God working in the hearts of so many kids that came to Christ at the end of the week.

If someone had asked me at the beginning of the week if I thought I was going to enjoy my week with about 70 seven to eleven year olds, most of whom don’t speak any English, I would have said you were crazy. I didn’t see a place for myself at that camp, and I was extremely homesick. But as we all know, God works in funny ways sometimes. Our day was loaded with different activities and tasks that distracted me from missing my family and friends at home. I asked God to help me to not think about the things I wanted and rather focus on the things He wanted me to do over the course of the week. While at some moments it was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel (i.e. picking lice out of a six-year-olds beautiful, long hair for an hour), I am realizing that every single thing that happened was meant to teach us something, whether it was patience, love, or even just moments meant to remind us that some people need the love of Christ but are blind to it because of materialistic things obscuring their view of the true love of Jesus.

So as we’re about to leave for the airport, I cannot help but feel so incredibly thankful and blessed to have been able to love on the Spanish kids. We learned things from them, and they learned things from us. As we said “adios” yesterday, kids came up to all of us saying, “We will miss you.” This didn’t make leaving any easier, but it was proof that we really impacted the lives of the kids during the week we spent with them. I know for many of us this week gave us a reason to return to Spain, and I cannot wait to see how the Youth for Christ organization continues to change lives.

By Emma Nelson

Serving

Right now is siesta time and that means a little down time for the staff members. With 62 kids, ages 4-12, there is very little time to have any quiet. Even late into the night there is noise. That is something that takes a lot to get used to. In order to keep the kids engaged, we have activity after activity from the time they wake up until the time they go to bed. (11:30pm!)

There have been many challenges this week. Some physical, some emotional, many spiritual. One of the staff members at dinner last night said to me over the excruciating decibels of clanking dishes and children laughing and chanting a silly song, “Could you imagine this camp without your team here?” I didn’t really think of our being here like it was helping the staff… I was only thinking about the children.

We are now on our second to last day of camp, and I can see the exhaustion on the faces of the campers and on the faces of the staff. We are all drained. There was a point when I felt as though I had nothing left, emotionally or physically. I looked at my phone to check the time and there was a message from my mom. “When Christ was tired of the crowds, he would always escape to spend time in prayer with His Father. That is where you will find your strength.” I replied “Your words from the Lord where a long drink to a weary worker.” I immediately turned in scripture to Matthew 14, just after Jesus feeds the 5000. Verse 22, he must have been so tired after serving so many people. Yet still he gave his disciples rest before himself. He stayed back to dismiss the crowd. He knew he needed to renew his strength by prayer to his Father. So he went to the mountain by himself to pray.

There is no doubt in my mind that we are here at Casa Berea for a purpose. There are 13 Spanish team members to 62 kids! If anything, us doing the dirty work of dishes and helping the little kids shower is a relief for these team members. Before coming here I thought we were here to love on the kids, but I have come to realize we are not here only to serve the kids, we are here to serve the Spanish team, so they can share the gospel and do their job of caring for these children. Yes, we play games with them, draw with them, or just laugh and try to talk to them in broken Spanish. But more importantly we work behind the scenes so the Spanish team  can share the gospel.

As we finish this week my prayer is that we remember Jesus’ sacrifice in his service of his people. He did not come to be served, but to serve (Matt. 20:28)

post by Rebecca Parini

 

 

Mitch on Mission with YWAM in Vancouver

To the Church of West Lisbon,
Thank you so much to everyone who has been praying for me, my team, the ministries we are working with, and the city of Vancouver over the past month or so. I have been seeing incredible things in my first week and a half here, and I cannot wait to see what else God has in store. Yesterday, the other intern, Beth, and I finished our training for the Mission Adventures program and we will hit the ground running starting Monday when our first youth group comes in.

I’m super excited to be working with the team that we have and to be given the opportunity to show Jesus to the high school youth that come into Vancouver. As a lot of you may already know, I came to have a life changing encounter with Jesus through various youth group involvement during my sophomore year in high school that saw me dedicate my life to God and his will for my life, so I am very excited about having the opportunity to share Jesus with nearly 100 high school students I’ll be meeting over the next four weeks.

​Before I left for this trip, I read a book called Gospel Fluency by a pastor named Jeff Vanderstelt. This book taught me that the key to seeing God work in incredible ways in your life is to believe in the gospel and believing in the gospel more deeply will allow God to work deeper and in more powerful ways in your life. I thought that I had a good understanding of the gospel before I left, and I couldn’t wait to see how God could work in that. During my training, I realized that the gospel is way deeper than anything I can know fully. In other words, as long as life isn’t perfect, God can teach us something new about his love for us, and that can change our lives in a deep way.

​I’m not entirely sure why, but I’ve definitely experienced discomfort on this trip. Nothing poor has happened. I love my team. I love the city I’m serving in. I love Tim Horton’s (basically Dunkin Donuts, but way better). There’s just something that has me out of my comfort zone, but that’s okay, because I’ve learned that this is where God grows us the most. I was doing some devotional time this morning, and I was reading Matthew 6 and John 15. Matthew 6 is part of Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount, where he encourages us saying that we do not need to worry, because God loves us. John 15 talks about how we cannot do anything beneficial apart from God and that in order to live a life worth living, we need to abide in Him.

​This has definitely been an area in the gospel where God has been growing me over the last week and a half. No matter what the circumstance, no matter where I am or who I’m with, whether I’m in a city like Vancouver or a village like Lisbon, whether I’m in the US or Canada, if I am with God, God is with me and He will produce fruit in me (John 15:4-5). That is a promise from God and something that I can put my hope in. I have nothing to worry about, because God is good. Thank you all so much for your continued prayers and support. I hope to give at least one more update before I am home. I love you all, and I cannot wait to return and tell you all the stories about how incredibly God is working. If you want updated prayer requests, please do not hesitate me to message me on Facebook! I may not get back to you right away, but I will certainly find time to give you prayer requests. Thank you so much for the love you’ve all shown me and your continued support for me in prayer. I love you all! God bless! ​​

-Mitch Friestad

Cairns from Reach

We learned today that Cairns are landmarks or memorials made by hikers or climbers, usually a mound of stones, while on a journey. Similarly, we also have spiritual markers that memorialize certain experiences and opportunities that God planned for us to be a part of. 

Ephesians 2:10 says, 

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

God has made us and saved us, and we are his poem, his workmanship. He has good works for us to do that he prepared for us in advance, even before we were born. When we live as those whom he has made us and saved us to be – on the lookout for these experiences and opportunities – we become a blessing and benefit to the body of Christ and the world. Each one is unique, and he or she adds unique good works that God prepared long ago.

As we load up to come home, here’s a look at more pictures!


See you soon! 

In Christ,

Rex